An Insight into Anger & Rage…

11 Nov

173943_ff02_625x1000I was sitting with Rinpoche just the other day and we were talking. Somehow, the conversation drifted towards the conclusion that my rage had lessened. Rinpoche remarked that fortunately, I had listened to most of his advice and as a result, I had lessened my rage.

I agreed but I felt that I still had some anger. However, Rinpoche was quick to point out that everybody has anger and frustration, and that it would surface from time to time. He said that its normal for me to feel angry when I am tired, sleepy or when I am challenged to do things I am not comfortable with or use to. He said everybody gets angry from time to time but that is not rage.

Rinpoche admitted that he feels angry and frustrated at situations and people too and that he is not above it. However, how we react to it is what sets us apart. Then, he explained that rage is when anger arises, we hold on to it and find every opportunity to lash out or get back at the people we perceive to be the cause of the frustration. When we hold on to anger, that is when anger turns to rage and all hell breaks loose.

I thought about it and I told Rinpoche, I do recall having less sessions of venting out my rage. I admitted sheepishly that when I have all this pent up rage, I would turn on the car stereo really loud and just scream on top of my lungs in the car. At one point, I did it so much that my throat hurt. Well, that has lessened tremendously. Rinpoche remarked that it was good that I vented my rage harmlessly.

In a nutshell, how I lessened my rage was because I had listened to Rinpoche’s advice all along and gotten the results. In the end, that gave me self-esteem and reduced my rage. Rage after all is really deep dissatisfaction not at the person or circumstances but at ourselves.

8 Responses to “An Insight into Anger & Rage…”

  1. Michael C. November 11, 2014 at 5:18 am #

    i Love how you are honest and truthful and don’t hide your shortcomings. it gives me encouragement and reassurance to move forward in Dharma and not hide away in an isolated shell. because i have anger and rage too and that makes me feel not worthy to continue but this is just my own delusion.

    • Pastor David Lai November 11, 2014 at 6:54 am #

      Thank you and I hope this would encourage you to learn more Dharma and combine it with your practice. That would help you very much in your practice and feelings of self-worth.

  2. Jacinta Goh November 11, 2014 at 5:42 am #

    It brought me to think about grudges in one of Rinpoche’s teaching. Just like the real anger is holding on grudges. I have too , perhaps worst than you but am learning to let go and my way of lessening my anger is by listening to teachings and contemplating the anger. So much so that, at the end of the day, I have to act positively as I know if I were to react back badly, they will follow my example. Not only I couldn’t help myself but harm them by showing bad example. And the cycles continue…Thanks for sharing this…

    • Pastor David Lai November 11, 2014 at 6:52 am #

      There are many ways to lessen our anger. One of them was mentioned here in this article. There are also others like Lama Tsongkhapa’s practice, which is said to be very effective in reducing anger, depression and so forth. It would be good to do this on daily basis and also to engage in retreats as well. It would also help very much to self-examine and dig deep to find the real cause of why we are angry. By listening and reading a lot of Dharma helps with this self-examination especially with practical teachings by Rinpoche. Just thought I share this with you.

  3. Choong November 11, 2014 at 5:57 am #

    This is a great article to understand and try to apply. Thank you for sharing Pastor David.

    • Pastor David Lai November 11, 2014 at 6:47 am #

      Thank you Choong.

  4. Wah Ying November 11, 2014 at 9:31 am #

    Thank you Pastor David for sharing! I learn from Rinpoche’s teachings as well – that anger arises from dissatisfaction at ourself, and the only way to be more happy and at peace with ourself will be get up and do whatever we are not happy with ourself.

    Accept my anger, lessen it and try hard not to turn it into rage. Thank you. I will put in more effort to achieve this.

  5. Lucy Yap November 11, 2014 at 10:42 am #

    By recognizing and engaging with my feelings of anger,I have learned a lot by allowing myself to feel my anger and I don’t have nearly as many issues with it as I once had.

    I agree that by learning Rinpoche’s teachings and reading lots of Dharma helps.
    Thank you Pastor David for sharing your thoughts.

Leave a Reply