The Impetus

23 Jun

I was with Rinpoche just 2 nights ago and he was talking about a lot of things including the pressures that he was facing. He was in tears talking about it and as he talked, he turned to face his computer and played a song on YouTube. A wave of nostalgia swept through him as he reminisced about his childhood.

“Look, there’s John Lennon and Yoko walking…”

He said this song inspired him to runaway from home. It was this song that infused him with new hope that things could be different. At that time, he was facing a lot of abuse at home because his mother was beating him up for the smallest reasons and there seemed to be no end to the terror.  She was Schizophrenic but they didn’t know about such things back then. On the other hand, his father was cold, distant and was only concerned with ‘enjoyments’ outside that led to his mother’s psychological breakdown. His days were filled with tears, beatings and a lot of pain.

While he was struggling with depression, John Lennon had just passed away. His songs were being played everywhere – on the radio and on TV. It didn’t really matter to him but his songs were everywhere and so he listened. And he liked it. He hitched-hiked to the nearest mall to purchase the album with the little money he saved. That was it. He played this song over and over again.  It was this song that inspired a fresh new dream and a journey out of pain…

原动力 (译文)

仅两晚前我和仁波切在一起的时候,仁波切谈论了很多事情,包括仁波切正面临着的压力。在谈论中, 仁波切掉下了眼泪,转过身来面对电脑,并从Youtube播放一首歌。怀旧的浪潮席卷了仁波切,让仁波切回忆起他的童年。

“你看,*约翰•列侬 (John Lennon) 和小野洋子(Yoko Ono) 正走着……”

仁波切说,这首歌是他从家里离家出走的灵感。就是这首歌给他注入了新的希望,认为境况可能会有所不同。当时,仁波切在家承受无数的虐待,因为他的母亲会因 小小的原因而殴打他, 而且这恐怖的局势似乎是没有尽头的。仁波切的母亲患精神分裂症,但那时候的他们并不懂这些事情。另一方面,他的父亲非常冷淡,遥不可及,只关心自己在外面 的’享受’,这也导致仁波切的母亲心理崩溃。仁波切的日子充满了泪水,殴打和很多的痛苦。

当仁波切正在抑郁症中挣扎时,约翰•列侬刚刚去世。他的歌曲无处不在 – 在电台和电视上被播着。仁波切并不管这一些,但因为列侬的歌曲到处都是,所以仁波切就听着。而仁波切也很喜欢它。仁波切搭便车到最近的商场,用他仅有的丁 点储蓄购买了专辑。就是这样。仁波切把这首歌曲播了一遍又一遍。就是这首*灵感歌曲启发了全新的梦想,还有那走出痛苦的旅程...

1. *英国著名摇滚乐队“披头士”成员,摇滚史上最伟大的音乐家之一 ,诗人,社会活动家,反战者。披头士乐队是20世纪最成功也是最具影响力的创作组合之一。

2. 这首歌是”Imagine”.


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14 Responses to “The Impetus”

  1. MayOng June 23, 2012 at 7:17 am #

    I always thought enlightened beings like our Guru will not be touched by hurt, pain and abuse. They are just as human as we are and their senses are even more acutely felt than us. May Tsem Rinpoche’s dream come true for him in this and other lives. May he continue to benefit others.

  2. Julia June 23, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    David, I like your blog! The Colour the pictures and the design. Very nice and pleasant. Thank you for sharing about Rinpoche. My hear break when u read about it. Rinpoche is the kindest person that I ever met.

  3. Sofi June 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    Its sad that Rinpochehad go thru such sufferings and yet we have not made the worth ofmhis sufferings by creating a grand place to attract more students to be benefitted by him and his teachings. It is really time to make his wishes come true without any delay. KFR and then KWPC must happen now and lets all work towards that with one heart.

  4. Wan Wai Meng June 24, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    I feel sad that rinpoche feels this way. I will work hard to get out of my comfort zone.

  5. Wan Wai Meng July 26, 2012 at 6:02 pm #

    We all need dreams and hopes to carry on, and we must fight so that our goals can be reached especially if the goal is dharma based. For big projects people have to spend more time making it happen!

  6. Edwin Tan August 28, 2013 at 4:23 pm #

    Dear David,

    Very inspiring story of our great Guru. If he didn’t make that big step, we will all still be rolling in our ignorant, samsaric world.

    And most of all, we wouldn’t get to meet our holy Guru.

  7. colin tan August 28, 2013 at 4:29 pm #

    Great insight to Rinpoche Childhood life.

    I am just so amazed by Rinpoche. After having to endure so much hardship… he still pull though and became such a wondering and caring guru that always put pthers infront of himself.

  8. Elena August 28, 2013 at 4:43 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this story David. If I can add to it, Rinpoche has also spoken about the excitement, trepidation and freedom he felt when he finally ran away, and he stood at the end of his road, just next to the highway waiting for a ride. Can you imagine a 16 year old boy, standing at the corner and knowing that it is the beginning of the rest of his life and that from that moment on, the second a car pulls up and he gets in, everything will be different forever? Such a monumental decision to make that so few of us are able to do, there is inspiration to be found in every moment of Rinpoche’s life.

  9. Jace August 28, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

    I believe it must be a heart tearing pain to leave the family, and the uncertainty of the future must had brought a lot of fear to Rinpoche at that period. But with much courage and faith to Dharma, Rinpoche went through the hardest period in his life and still standing strong to guide many to go through the dark.
    Thank you Rinpoche for telling us by your action, that by having strong faith, we can go through all difficulties.
    The song really gives a wonderful imagine space for people to believe that the world could be better if you let it.

  10. Irene Lim August 29, 2013 at 12:24 am #

    When I contemplated what Rinpoche had to go through so much suffering in the earlier days of his life, I most certain that a great Being like him only orchestrated his every lives in Samsara in order to bring tremendous benefit to all beings. Need we have to say much about his attainments as a Buddhist master in our time? It is so apparent.

  11. Gim Lee August 29, 2013 at 1:00 am #

    Dear David, thank you for this sharing. It shows the side of Rinpoche that many will not have the opportunity to see. We always take for granted that our Guru will not feel any pain as he is already attained and is one with Buddhas. The fact is, our Guru takes this human form due to his great compassion to help us.

    Since Guru is in this human form that comes with all the 5 “skandhas” (Aggregates of existence), there are still feelings and pains. These pains though hurtful to him, it is not the kind of sensational and ignorant-bound suffering that we have. Guru’s mind is pure and will not sway. He takes all the pain to show us the ways to accept it and eventually to overcome it.

    • Lim Han Nee August 29, 2013 at 6:17 am #

      Rinpoche in pain then and Rinpoche in pain now , thirty years later. Only now, it’s the students who are causing him pain. We, with our selfish minds and strong attachment to our comfort zones, cannot accept what our Guru, in all his wisdom and compassion, is giving to us and letting us experience, for our own benefit.

      At the same time, Rinpoche’s resilience has always made him quickly come out of his pain and refocus on his one and only purpose in life – to serve and benefit others directly and through the Dharma.

      Thank you, David, for this beautiful sharing.

  12. Choongs August 30, 2013 at 7:10 am #

    I can say something for sure, just like John Lennon ignited my idealistic mind decades ago, Rinponche has rekindled it after it being dormant for decades. It’s good to be young and idealistic once again! No ifs, no buts. Imagine…

  13. Seon Tan August 30, 2013 at 11:11 am #

    Hi May Ong,

    I believe that what differentiates a bodhisattvas and the rest is not because they are cannot be touched by hurt, pain and abuse but instead they transform all those sufferings into something better and beautiful.

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